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I know, I know, another personal post... kind of. Lately I've felt like I've been all over the place; a chicken with its head cut off. I'm in a new job with a whole new schedule that I'm still getting used to, I've been stuck with my own Gyaru style to the point that I just don't bother anymore, and I've cut down my participation in groups and projects almost completely. My schedule on a day to day basis honestly looks as follows:

WORK ---> BOYFRIEND ---> SLEEP

I barely get on the computer anymore, and when I do, it's usually just for a few minutes because I come home extremely tired from the day I've had. It didn't bother me at first, but now I feel like I'm neglecting everyone and everything, even myself. I don't bother dressing up like I used to, I've gotten lazy because of being so rushed in my day to day life, etc. As one of the founders for both GAL TV and GAL VIP, I feel like I'm letting my team down, and I feel bad because I not only do not have the time to do things, but I also haven't felt Gyaru in such a long time, that I feel like I'm dead weight. And of course, I've slacked off on this blog too, which is what's honestly hitting me the hardest because I love my blog to pieces.

So, I want to re-invent myself as Gyaru and as a Blogger.

There are a plethora of reasons as to why I feel stuck in my style, and also why I don't feel Gyaru anymore:

1. My current job demands a more professional/business attire and look, which allows me very little room to actually dress up the way I want. While I may not exactly like it, I love my job, so I'm willing to sacrifice my personal style for it. If I were to actually dress more to that style and keep it Gyaru, it would be a more OL style, and anything in Happie NUTS is probably pushing limits by a little bit.
2. I'm broke. My last job left me at less than $100 in the bank, and I'm still trying to recover from that. In fact, my first paycheck at my new job goes to my parents for all the loans they've given me in order to stay afloat.
3. I don't feel like I've fully studied over Kurogal style. While I love it, I currently don't feel that it's for me, but am too stubborn to give up on it, so I want to take a step or two back and fully try it before I give up on it. At least, if I take the time to actually try it and give it 100%, I'll know I did my best and it just didn't suit me.
4. Boyfriend and happiness > Acceptance online + internet drama. Seriously though, I've stayed under the radar for so long and today I got my third piece of hate (that I've been made aware of) from a Latina saying I'm J-Chola and the like.
5. Side Projects/Jobs. Along with Oscar and Cristian, I am going into the concert/event promoting business. Doing so, I'll be in charge of media, blogs, marketing, and of course do my job/hobby as a concert photographer. On top of this, I'll be personally assisting Oscar with his musical projects.

I would like to pretend that I'm able to juggle everything I loved doing before this new time in my life, but I'd just be lying. I mean, it takes me an hour to and from work where I could be blogging, researching, trying new hairstyles, etc, but that time is spent playing 'Stop and Go' with Seattle traffic. I keep thinking to myself: I'll be the best Gyaru concert photographer (and only, for that matter) or that I'll look Gyaru at work without a problem only to wake up and feel like a truck ran over me from how tired I am waking up. Then I think about my style and wonder about it because I'm not attracted to the styles I was back then. I mean, I still love Ora Ora and I wouldn't give it up for anything, but I need something that will also work for me during my work days. This is why I would like to reinvent myself in my Gyaru style. I don't feel pressured to be "the best" or anything at all, so I want to take some time off to do my best in my style and look for inspiration, as well as find what suits me best. On top of that, I want to redo this blog completely. I had forgotten one of the biggest reasons I started blogging in the first place, so I want to revisit that and build based on that previous love. I'll still stick to a Gyaru & other Japanese fashion/culture related posts, but I still want it to reflect me without feeling bad that I'm showering you all with personal posts. With that being said, please continue to be patient with me while I go through this reinvention. I want to begin with the blogging process before my Gyaru style, so the first should be a more expedient process than having me work on my style when I have little time to do so. I'm hoping to blog more as well as make my comeback in GAL TV and participate more in past groups. We'll see how it all goes.